The not knowing of transitions
Seven years ago, I packed up my life in a small U-haul trailer, drove three thousand miles across the country, and settled into a new life in the Pacific Northwest. At first, the new opportunities were exhilarating – new smells, new sights, new people. I couldn’t wait to explore my new world!
As time passed, uncertainty began to creep in and the experience of not knowing began to feel unbearable:
Not knowing –
Who to call if my car broke down,
Where to pick up good take out,
If I was in a safe neighborhood,
If I would ever feel at home,
If I would make friends.
My transition brought problems to the surface I had easily pushed away before. Without the distraction of familiar places, family and friends, the feelings began to bubble over. Grief I thought I resolved years before came screaming back, and relationships I thought were solid began to crumble.
Maybe you can identify with this feeling – being new to a city, taking a new job in a different field, becoming a parent for the first time, ending a long-term relationship, or adjusting to your empty nest. When transition occurs, the road maps you used to navigate the world become obsolete and it can be scary to start trying to decipher which way to go next.
Choosing to see a therapist, to begin doing the wonderful, scary work of understanding who I had become and who I wanted to be, was the greatest choice I could have made during that tumultuous time. Transition forced me to pause and evaluate what I wanted out of life, and having an objective person to provide feedback was invaluable. If you find yourself in transition, please consider reaching out. I would be honored to support you in finding your way forward.